STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize