Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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