Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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