Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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