at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It's shark week go big or go home
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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