so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
