and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Randomize
