I got chris browned last night
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
