im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
