So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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