Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
