yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
