we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
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By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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