I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i will never coherently bang her
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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