Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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