You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
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Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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