I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
he puts the penis in happiness.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
