ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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