She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
