Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize