He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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