Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
