just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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