i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
