Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Dear god my vagina.
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