he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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