you have to choose: penises or morals?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
this will be a night to untag.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
