My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
