I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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