Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
