this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I want to be your penis for a week.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
