Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
