don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Quick, to the slutcave!
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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