He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
