It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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