You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
