Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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