So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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