he thought i was a dude.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
