Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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