he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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