i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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