then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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