I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize