Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize