just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
