I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she peed on how many people?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
