Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
