"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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