so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The beer is more important than you right now.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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