Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
