sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
