OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
