Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
