is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
