I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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