brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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