It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize