I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Dick very happy bro
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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