didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
