Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
