drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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