you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Your dad touched me again.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
