I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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